“If you are only what you are,
You at least have a chance
Not to outsmart,
But be on a par with yourself
And that is worth trying.”
― Dejan Stojanovic
Nobody can feel the way you feel, imagine in a way you imagine and express in a way you do. And still it amuses me to see how we continue to compare ourselves to one another. There’s nothing similar between two humans except for the fact that they are humans ie the genetic difference between any two individuals is miniscule.
The difference begins in your mother’s womb. Babies can learn from inside their mother’s womb and so the differences slowly take form. Further your upbringing, your experiences, your lifestyle and your methodologies determine the kind of person you are. But no two people can have that in common, even if it your sibling. In fact in case of siblings, both are prone to a different approach towards people, work and life in general.
10. “You were born this way!”
And maybe there’s nothing you can do about it but you have embrace yourself at some point or another. Embrace your body and the situation you were born into. You shouldn’t waste time comparing yourself to someone who hasn’t even been in your situation! It’s almost like comparing a dog’s life to a cat’s, although I think they have more similarities especially if they are stray.
9. You will be deceived!
But why??? so you must be thinking! Well, because you are comparing wrong!!
Thinking that you are better or worse off than someone else will only deceive you into being conceited or despondent! In comparing yourself to another you are not using a precise metric; you’re using a human being who is both rational and irrational. So this clearly isn’t the right path for you to traverse on!
8. You’re only succumbing to the parameters set by society!
Ummhmm, getting it now? Let me explain a little further.
Close your eyes and ask yourself if you’re happy. If you are then stop being what the society expects from you or anybody else for that matter. You’re beautiful and handsome by yourself. And if you think otherwise and make in a change in yourself (your body, your situation or your lifestyle) to add happiness to your life, then do it. If I was supposed to live like someone else and then I should have been born as someone else! I wouldn’t have been who I am now. Makes sense?!
7. You’ll change and lose it all!
Following from the previous point, you’ll change into someone you’re not!! And mind you it all that was yours from yours earlier will disappear! Just like that! It’s simple, people who are with you right now like you the way you are, they don’t want you to change unless of course it is a positive change. Succumbing to societal parameters means that you take deliberate efforts to become someone else making it easier for ties to break.
6. Beware for you are being irrational!
Yes, human beings are “predictably irrational” but that doesn’t mean you can’t be rational. You can! You just need to simplify your problems and get to the solution. In this case your thinking that comparing yourself to another soul is the solution to your problem but it isn’t! Your neighbour or batch-mate or colleague may appear to have less problems that you but comparing yourself is not going to decrease your problems. This will just be counted as another problem. And you’ll feel worse. Besides you may think that your peer does not have any problems but you can never tell. Never! So just don’t be irrational! If you don’t believe me, try some of the games/questions in Dan Ariely’s book, Predictably Irrational.
5. It’s all a game of relativity!
The orange circle seems to have grown in size when placed with the smaller circles on the right, but it really hasn’t changed in size at all. The thing is that we are bound to relate one thing with another. Although we can measure and look for precision and then declare, we won’t do it anyway. Why should we, on the face the answer seems so evident. This is exactly what I am trying to tell you. Comparing is a waste of time, and it’s a matter of true measurement and accuracy. Many researchers and professors like Dan Ariely, Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman would agree with me.
4. It might turn into a habit, wait what if it already is?
No worries, it’s never too late to get out of it.
Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others at all hours? Or maybe to several people. You may think that all of this is just in the spur of the moment but soon enough it no longer will be. It’ll become a habit and you’ll find yourself judging and commenting in your head all the time.
3. Danger: You’ll indulge in short-run goals.
Sometimes these goals aren’t even meant for you. You’ve just got inspired by some magazine and the images in it.
And this too have both a negative and positive impact on you. Sometimes they can be highly dangerous, even fatal. People foolishly copying celebrities have become commonplace. Several fatal injuries have occurred in the process. So firstly do not compare, and even if you do after my pep talk, please do your research. Do not fall for all that jazz over social media. You’ll either end up with disastrous lips( you know what I am talking about) or an anorexic body. Sometimes just use your head and everything will fall into place.
2. You’ll feel bad about it later.
Soon after you will realise the futility of comparing and probably curse yourself for having done so. In the end you’ll find yourself rejoicing in your own world and then all that will be behind you. So you will hate yourself for having wasted your precious time on such trivial affairs. So cheer up and don’t compare yourself, it’s of no accord!
1. Because you’re smarter than that!
“Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” -Neil Gaiman
And nobody else so don’t try to be someone else. So decide who do you want to be. It’s never too late. Also you need not dwell on such things, instead you need to engage in productive activities. If people are going to compare, then let them compare themselves with you not you with anyone else. Get on with your life and don’t be slapped in the face by these stupid thoughts. Be free.
“Either you will be you or you will not be at all.”
― Dejan Stojanovic