10 Things you Learn from your First Relationship

Every relationship – or for that matter, every human interaction – has something to teach us. The first romantic relationship of your life just happens to teach a bit more than the other relationships you have encountered. You were all naive before everything went wrong. But let’s skip the screaming and the swearing and go straight to the part where the break up ceased to be painful any longer, shall we? An unbiased perspective is what I’m talking about, the kind of perspective which helps you to see how much your first relationship can influence the quality of the life that you lead. It is heartbreaking to acknowledge that all romantic relationships don’t last. We may want them to, but the choice isn’t ours to make. So the question at hand remains, how does every failed relationship of your life serve you? They serve us a great deal but here we’ll restrict our conversation only to the first relationship of your life. Why? Because the ‘firsts’ in life are always special. Think about the first time you got paid or the first kiss. Rings a bell? Can you re-create those moments of your life? I believe that you can’t.

first relationship

  1. It teaches you to be selfless

Your first relationship lets you try your hand at altruism. Take this for example. You learn how to take a decision keeping in mind not only your but also another person’s thoughts, beliefs or whatever it is. Think about it. As a person, it changes you for the better and goes with you a long way later in life.

  1. It teaches you that life is not a fairy tale

No matter how much we hate to admit it, life is not always a carbon copy of our favorite fairy tale. Couples don’t live happily ever after all the time. Unlike in movies, relationships in actual life are hard work. Falling in love may be effortless and spontaneous but sticking up sure is not. As princes turn into frogs, you learn to embrace life and hope for the best.

  1. It teaches you that your self-respect has a say

When you’re in love, your self-respect can at times suffer setbacks. Loving oneself can be very difficult, nonetheless it is indeed very essential and healthy. When you embark in your first relationship, you find out that your self-respect makes you the person you are. If you aren’t able to stand up for yourself, how do you suppose you can do that for another human being or that human being can do the same for you?

  1. It teaches you how to prioritise things

Prior to your first ever romantic relationship, you might have had all the time in the world for your cat or your homework or your sleep. But things change once you are willing to share your world with someone else. Your boyfriend/girlfriend may want you to go to a party, but the next day you may have a test you are not at all prepared for. So what do you do? There’s no right or wrong choice here, but these kind of situations help you to learn the art of prioritizing things in life and relationships.

  1. It teaches you to get out of your comfort zone

If you are a girl, you may start liking rock music when you have your first boyfriend. And if you’re a guy, you might finally watch the ‘Notebook’! You might not even like the film, but that’s not the point. Point is, while you are free to have certain likes and dislikes, your partner can open up a whole new world in front of you. May be you had never watched football before your first relationship, but now you can name all the Real Madrid players.

  1. It teaches you to handle your emotions wisely

Remember the first major fight in your first major relationship? The world came crashing down, didn’t it? You may not feel proud of it, but the silver lining is that these sort of emotional outbursts pave the way for a better control over your emotions in the future. You learn acceptance along the way, and you emerge stronger than you ever thought you were.

  1. It teaches you to trust (or not to)

Trust is tricky, nevertheless no relationship can survive sans trust. While it’s essential to keep faith in humanity, your first relationship teaches you to guard your heart. Whereas adolescence generally wears its heart on its sleeve, you learn that trust is better served when earned – all thanks to your first relationship.

  1. It teaches you that you can’t possess a person

Obviously, right? But how many of us went passed this? A relationship is maintained by two people and neither one has an upper hand. Your boyfriend or your girlfriend has every right to move on, provided you trample over his/her territory. Women flaunt an innate tendency to change men. And their first relationship usually teaches them that they can never change a person without that person’s consent. Life’s tough ladies!

  1. It teaches you that you’ll be okay

It may be a cliche, all the same no one can refute the fact that time heals most wounds. Yes I know how you feel after you are broken up with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. But the wheel turns, remember? Your first relationship teaches you that things never remain the same and you are bound to be happy again (and then sad and again happy phew!). It’s a vicious circle, but at the end of your relationship, you finally come to learn that your relationship has never been the center of the universe.

  1. It teaches you the importance of your friends and family

The world of dating can’t do without nasty break ups. Aren’t they just the worst? The first break up of your life  stinks, but doesn’t it also reveal how important (and useful!) your friends and your family in your life are? You can watch ‘He’s just not that into you’ as many times as you want, yet you need the shoulders of your near and dear ones to cry on at the end of the day.

Did I just make you nostalgic? Thinking about stopping by your ex and dropping a ‘thank you’ note? Well, that’s not my intention. I just wanted to show you how things that go awry or awfully wrong in life can also have a hidden purpose. Most of the times, all we need to do is to simply look at the bigger picture instead of looking too closely the entire time.

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Srijani Nag