Well the topic is quite general and can be said to be an integral part of every couples’ life. Even the happiest couples have been failed to escape the fight phase between them even though they once thought that they are the perfect couple and nothing can wrong between them
So here I am bringing you all the top 10 reasons of fights between a lovey-dovey couple:
10. Time taken to get ready
Even though it sounds silly but it is indeed one of the main reasons of fights among couples. And in this case the patriarchy rules while they put the entire blame of taking hours to get ready on their female counterpart. While girls do manage to look stunning after hours of hard-work and ignoring with a smile all the rushes that their husbands try to put them through, yet little arguments or conflicts do take place because of this reason.
9. The Ex-factor
Keeping a good word with your ex might be a wise thing to do but might not get well with your present partner. That is exactly what gets reflected in certain arguments during fights among couples. We cannot deny our past nor can change it. While having a healthy relation with the ex is seemingly no harm and perfectly okay this might on the other hand bring out the possessive nature or insecurities of your partner towards this relationship. While we cannot change our past keeping a tab on your present relationship should be the priority. And if the partner is not comfortable with your current status with your ex it is better to maintain a healthy relationship. At times one might get overfriendly with his/her ex which is surely to erupt or fuel differences between the couple. Some might say getting insecure is over possessiveness but at times it is justified as it might just be a word of concern from your partner’s side. Understanding your partner’s point of view is also equally important which most of the couple lacks to a great extent, and that is exactly where the blame-game starts.
8. Money Matters
Money has always played a crucial role in each one of us’ life. And so it does in the lives of couples where arguments become seemingly endless. This mainly happens if the income gap is huge between the partners which lead to a mismatch sense of materialistic desires. In Indian family set up where the scene has shifted majorly from girls being a housewife to working women marital in discrepancies seems to be on a hike as none of the partners is ready bow down or compromise. Here the notable thing is that money makes one individual feel secure; and in case of women it gives a sense of empowerment. And this agency is exactly what makes them less adjustable as compared to what they used to be.
7. Third Person/Extra Marital affairs
People fall out of love in marriages now and then. And that is exactly what leads to the entry of a third person in an apparent blissful conjugal relationship. Psychiatrists say that people fall out of love in marriage probably because they get bored of the usual monotony of a long term commitment. That might be a temporary phase but it happens to most of the couples which leads to either divorce or temporary separation. The notable thing here is that marriage is a long term commitment or responsibility and has its own pros and cons. It depends on us how we deal with it as the main challenge lies in the very fact of feeling rejuvenated with your partner even after 20 years of marriage in the same way as you used to feel 20 years before.
6. Taking Care of Children
This is another issue that often creates arguments within couples. How exactly the child should be brought up, or what are the exact values to be taught – all these often lead to arguments as both of the husband and wife at times may not agree on the same and may have different viewpoint. Fights often erupt because of who will be the authority for the children or who would have the last say regarding them. Fights/arguments on the issue of children become worse when the parents are separated and at times this reason often leads to divorce.
5. Suspicious Nature of Partner
Now this one really makes life hell. If your partner is one of those who has that shaq ka keera in her/his mind then even God cannot help you with anything. Suspecting your partner on each and every small thing is nothing but absurd. But this has become one of major reasons for the fights among couples. Over the years the percentage of couples fighting because of suspicious nature of the partner has got a hike, and has been a major concern for divorces. Psychiatrist and marriage consultant group these sort of people as with some kind of problem who need immediate treatment. The inability to trust somebody completely is at times also termed as phobia of getting cheated again which leads to a failed relationship.
4. Family – Yours or Mine??/Monster-In-Laws
Probably the most common reason which secures its place from day 1, fights regarding in-laws/relatives and other family matters always takes precedence over all the love that prevails. Whose family is more important?? My family is not enough care of…?? These are the pretty common arguments that emerge among couples. Plus when these extended families put forth their opinion regarding any issue that concerns the couple the fight becomes even worse with heated arguments from both the sides which at times drags relatives/family members as well.
3. Lack of Passion/Mismatch level of desires
Even though a hush-hush matter, especially in countries such as India where tradition takes precedence over basic conjugal rights, yet lack of passion has been of the major factors of fights between couples which at time is seen to lead to divorces. We can never deny that we all have carnal desires which need to satiate and we expect our partner to be compatible not only in general conjugal issues but also in bed. But unfortunately the stress, work pressure emerged mainly because of the hectic lifestyle that we lead has leads to less and less physical intimation between couples. The unfulfilled desires eventually lead to haughty temper, acridity et al. Sometimes the mismatched sexual desires also lead to differences among couples.
Marriage means interaction with not only your partner but his/her family as well. And the “family” gets extended with office colleagues, playground pals, gym buddies et al. And then even if you manage to find some time alone that is supposed to be booked exclusively for your partner. Finding me-time out of we-time becomes a bit difficult at times. And this is also one of the main reasons for arguments/fights between couples. Giving your partner a space, and taking a break for oneself as well is an extremely important ingredient to successful marriage. But that is something which hardly happens as arguments erupts such as “how come you want to spend time without me??’. This me-time factor has always been a big issue between couples which is seemingly unavoidable.
I would definitely put this on the top of the list as I feel ego is something that spoils the bliss. Marriage is bliss to each and every couple and it can be elevated to heaven like feeling if both of the people engaged put aside their ego and indulge into adjustment. Plus if your partner is saying something should be done in a particular way which is a slight departure from your way of doing it consider it as a suggestion and blend into it. Life is full of compromises and in marriage that has to come from both the ends. But usually that does not happen as ego crosses the path. While making any sort of compromise one feels that she/he is stooping low which is apparently unfair or not justified. And due to this cracks start to emerge and eventually widen in the most blissful couple as well.