Yes, it is hard to describe your feelings when you, as parents, finally get to hold your own bundle of joy. But parenthood does not always come naturally to all. There are many people who have no idea what being parents entail. Although, parenthood is not something that can be learned through an instruction manual alone. You live it as you experience it. But at times, you do need some external help. Parenthood brings a lot of challenges along with it. You can’t be too casual about your choices and decisions. After all, they will ultimately affect the lives of your own children. Here are ten important qualities that every parent should possess. You don’t have to stick to them religiously but can refer to them in order to get an idea as how to handle being parents. Mind you, these are just some of the general qualities. No one can dictate you all the terms and conditions. You do it by your own discretion but yes, you can always welcome new ideas and incorporate them into your own set. Don’t tip toe around it out of fear. Be hands- on and always ready to deliver.
I guess every parent would agree that bringing up a child needs an immense reservoir of patience. Right from the first wail, a parent has to be patient enough to handle any and every situation that comes his/her way. Yes, there will be many instances which you would not have experienced before and which will take your patience to the edge but the key lies in not giving in. After all, perseverance is a virtue too. If nothing else works and you feel that you are about to drown into the dark depths of despair, worry not. Just take a break. Give yourself time to calm down, even if it means only a few minutes of respite. Take whatever comes your way.
Well, this one is not difficult to accomplish. It is true that every parent loves his/ her child unconditionally. How can you not? It’s not every day that you get to hold your own child in your arms. Love for one’s child comes as naturally as breathing. You don’t have to work towards it. But yes, you do need to control it. Love should not make one blind to the child’s faults. Inculcate good values in your child with love so that he/she can become a good human being over anything else.
I don’t think there is any parent who’ll admit that he/she does not trust his/her child. And at some level you do know that trust resides deep in your heart but you may come across certain circumstances where it will be hard for you to hold onto your innate belief’s. Let’s face it, you can’t watch over your child like a hawk at every minute of the day. Sure, nobody wants his/ her child to do anything wrong or to be in any kind of trouble but you can’t question them at every level too. At times, you need to trust your child without asking questions first. It’s tough but manageable. Have some trust in your upbringing too. Once your child acknowledges your trust in him/ her, he/she will definitely make sure to not let you down.
There’s no doubt that parents make several adjustments and sacrifices for the sake of their children. But it is also difficult for them to give full control of their lives to their children alone. Parents tend to feel that their children are not “experienced” enough to make their own decisions and therefore, they end up maintaining a rigid stance which does not allow a healthy communication to take place. So, at times, it is necessary to take a back step and allow your child to assimilate to his/ her circumstances. Let the child explore and falter. It will only teach him/ her to tread more carefully in life.
6. Accept Changes.
With every day, your child will grow and change. Whether it’s his/ her first steps or first day in college, your child will grow and change with time and circumstances. As a parent, you may find yourself stuck to a different time zone. It is hard to see your child change before your very eyes. It does have an air of surrealism. But it is also true that it is inevitable and you just need to take it in stride. No use watching from the side lines. Make an effort to be a part of his life as much as you can even when you feel that the changes are too much for you. Of course, this pertains to all the good and normal changes. You certainly don’t have to accept any bad habits or bad turn of events.
Parents and children need to maintain a good understanding. Obviously, it is not possible for you to see eye to eye every single time but you must learn to embrace each other’s differences too. If you can’t accept each other’s opinions then, at least learn to respect them. Good understanding is the key to happiness. It will keep your relationship full of love and optimism.
Now, strength doesn’t only refer to the physical one. Mental and emotional strength is also something that you need to draw upon when you become parents. And you certainly need to keep that well of strength full because there will be many circumstances where you will require them greatly. It is not easy to bring up a child. As much as there are blessings and joys, there are many hardships and obstacles too. At such times, your strength and indomitable spirit will come in handy. For instance, teenage years are the most difficult to handle and yet, they are also too important to be taken casually. A teenage mind is always at war with it’s heart and hormones. I’m sure you can relate to your own teenage years too. At such times, you need to call all your powers into focus so that you can tend to your child with the sensitivity that he/she deserves.
Most of the younger generation hide things from their older counterparts because they don’t think they have the liberty to be as frank with their parents as they are with their friends. Never mock your child and his thoughts. Always treat him with as much respect as you would any other adult. This will not only establish a relationship of mutual respect but will also allow your child to be frank and candid with you without fearing any mockery or rebuke. Even when you feel your opinion differs from that of your child, don’t disregard it completely but instead, try to make him/ her understand your view point with reason and calmness. It will surely lead to a better understanding between the two sets.
2. An open mind.
As has been mentioned before, children are afraid to be completely frank with their parents. Their hesitation may not only be because of lack of communication but also because of the closed- mindedness of the parents. It is correct that because of the vast age gap between parents and children, it is difficult to share common beliefs and opinions. That is certainly not the problem. However, keeping a closed mind about your children’s views may lead to troubles. You don’t have to accept everything that comes in your way but you can keep an open mind so that the given situation can at least be discussed and pondered upon.
Spontaneity in life is very important at times. Children are spontaneous by nature and you, as parents, should be able to roll along with them. Although, it is true that you need to set a certain pattern but it’s always fun to deviate from it once or twice. Don’t plan your children’s lives with a tunnel vision. Be impulsive and spontaneous and surprise them!
Becoming a parent is a blessing every time. Yes, there are struggles but in the end, they are all worth it. Don’t you agree? Ofcourse, you can’t always keep your children under the protection of your wings but you can certainly equip them with qualities that will allow them to fight any challenging circumstances. In the end, you only aim for their success and happiness. That’s what being parents is all about. You learn to become selfless and kind and that is the best kind of a person that you can be.