Emotions can be really confusing. With the busy lives that we live now, it does become hard to comprehend what we are feeling and we tend to develop emotions which persist for a far longer time than they should. Subconsciously, we give in to them and let them dominate our actions. But it does not have to stay like this, especially if we realize that feeling a little negative is normal and we have the power to change that.
So, take a few minutes to introspect and find out about the emotions that are probably doing you more harm than good!
Excess of anything is bad. So in terms of emotions and feelings, obsession would mean that you keep your mind occupied with a certain idea or thought and cannot stop thinking about it and consequently acting on it. We have all been there at some point or the other where we are unable to stop obsessing over things that are so good for us. But overthinking does no one any good. In fact, it is very famously said that that overthinking is the art of creating problems that never even existed in the first place! So the main question may be – how to stop overthinking or obsessing over something? It’s really simple. Just try to think of something else, something more productive and useful whenever you are hit by your obsessive thoughts. It may sound like the obvious thing to do but when you are overthinking, the obvious logic seems undo-able.
This one is fairly obvious. You don’t really need a lot of experience to find out most decisions made in anger, tend to be wrong. And by the time we realize this, the damage has already been done. It’s almost stupid how people feel that acting in the heat of the moment is the cool thing to do because it’s not! Anger not only hurts the person on the receiving end of it but it also harms the person who is delivering it. Several biological changes happen in the body which can be drastic. Apart from that the psychological strain is just not worth it! The next time you feel that sudden rush of anger, try to work your way through it for your own sake.
The word “failure” is introduced to us at such a young age that it gets engraved in our minds. Any task that we cannot do makes us a failure at it and that completely changes our perspective towards things that need to be done. First of all, I strongly recommend that you stop using this useless word to label yourself or any other person! And secondly, don’t fall for the disappointment that follows when you are unable to accomplish a certain thing. Get back up! If you are let down, then look for a way. Feelings of disappointment cloud our judgement and make us miss the opportunities which follow. It’s alright to feel bad but don’t let yourself get stuck. And stay away from people who keep reminding you of your disappointments rather than your strength to overcome the disappointment.
Okay, so you made bad choices, did something you regret or hurt someone close to you. It is important that you realize your mistakes and accept them. But sometimes, we are unable to forgive ourselves and move on. Here is what you can you – remind yourself that whatever decision you made and whatever you did was the best you could do with the information you had at that particular moment. Believe that punishing yourself will do no one any good. To get over the feeling, take responsibility and apologize if necessary.
5. Learned helplessness
Learned helplessness was a concept researched by an American psychologist Martin Seligman. It is very applicable to human nature. According to this concept, due to failures in the past, a person begins to believe or rather learns, that he/she is helpless in aversive situations. In such a case the person just gives up and stops trying. Do you remember feeling this way? We are the biggest roadblocks in our path to getting something done. So whenever you feel the urge to self-sabotage, remember that there is always a way if you look hard enough!
We are not referring to the rational and practical fears over here. Take a moment to think about all the psychological fears you have? Fear of speaking in public, fear of approaching someone, fear of taking responsibility or the fear of being yourself? The simplest way of overcoming your fears is the old school method of doing the things you fear the most!
We tend to keep second guessing ourselves and while it is alright to think over some things multiple times, being indecisive is not. This is what self-doubt does to us. Needless to say, it feeds on your self-esteem and has long-term negative effects on one’s confidence. Whenever making a decision, be sure of yourself. Try to do a thing to the best of your ability and make sure you use whatever information you have in that moment. After processing your thoughts, take suggestions from significant others if necessary. Try to resolve your confusions instead of reducing your confidence. Even if you make mistakes, you will be able to rectify them.
I know the new thing around is prioritizing yourself. This is true. We all need to focus on ourselves and our needs before someone else’s in order to succeed and get what we want, all well and good. The problem arises when we turn to the habit of only thinking about ourselves and not giving a thought to someone else’s situation. Being selfish is accompanied by a sense of ignorance. An ignorant person shuts himself/herself to the practicalities of life and that is the kind of attitude you need to get rid of!
Feelings of jealousy are quite similar to anger. Both these emotions arise from all things negative and in the end, the person who ends up getting hurt the most, is you! Ask yourself- when and why do you get jealous? If you introspect well enough, you are most likely to find that such feelings are quite useless and do no good. There is nothing faulty in wanting something but harboring a negative feeling to move forward will never work!
“Revenge is a dish best served when cold.” You must have heard of this many times but the better thing to remember is that you don’t need to get revenge because karma does its job well. Don’t waste your time and energy on getting back at someone and focus it on things that can help you do much better.