We have seen it in movies, we have read it in books, we have even seen it in real life. Boys and girls end up as lovers. No matter what. Period.
Be it Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, or my personal favourite, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, they start off as friends, best friends or the controversial infamous “we are just friends”, but just before the credits roll on- they have realized their dormant feelings and are on their way from friends phase to dating phase.
And here are ten reasons as to why boys and girls cannot be just friends.
Reason 10: We are too different.
To be precise, and I mean it in a completely stereotypical way, that the interests of a boy and a girl usually, and more often than not, be very different from each other. Like generally, boys are interested in computer games, while girls would be more interested with makeup and fashion.
Due to the clash of interests, there might not be any common ground or interest for them to bond over. Ergo, no friendship.[Note: I mean this in a completely stereotypical generic manner, and it is not specific. Because every individual is different. For example some guys might be more interested in makeup rather than computer games, while on the other hand we have an entire community of girl gamers.]
Reason Nine: Misunderstandings
Usually, more often than not, people tend to confuse care and special consideration as a deeper level of affection. They tend to confuse friendship for love and that is where people mess up.
While the girl wants a completely platonic relationship, the guy misunderstands her actions for a romantic relationship. Due to this, some friendships get broken.
Reason Eight: Sexuality
If you identify yourself as a homosexual, then the friendship between you and the opposite gender is workable. Because there is a very low a chance for ‘something’ to happen, however if you’re a heterosexual individual- things are different.
The reason being that you are genetically programmed to find the opposite gender appealing and attractive, and there is no way you can be “just” friends with someone who creates butterflies in your stomach.
Reason Seven: Trust
You see, we live in a world where normal trustworthy friendship is hard to find, let alone friendship with the opposite gender. If news media are to be believed, boys under the pretext of friendship take advantage of it and might make the girl find herself in a very compromising situation.
But it works both ways, while some boys may misuse their friendship; some girls befriend boys in order for them to gain a “friend” who can provide them with free food, car rides, and someone to carry the bags while they shop.
This is actually a superficial friendship that takes place for its namesake.[Note: This isn’t applied to the general population of boys and girls, but it is a reality some of us see and chose to ignore.]
Reason Six: Disappointment
The thing with a boy-girl friendship is that, it is different than your normal same gender friendship. You expect things to be different. And when it doesn’t turn around to be like your expectation, there is disappointment- and that disappointment leads to cold feelings between the two parties involved which eventually lead to fall out between the two.
To be clearer a girl would expect to her guy friend to chose her as her lab partner or chose her to be his date for a dance or his first choice when going to the movies, but when that doesn’t happen and the guy chooses some other girl from his neighbourhood or college to go for a movie that the girl had wanted to see with him- it causes trouble.
There are expectations. And when they aren’t met, a teeny tiny portion somewhere in your heart gets a little crack.
Reason Five: Society
We are brought up in a country where if a boy and a girl were walking down a road alone, it is assumed that they are dating, irrespective of the fact whether they are actually dating or are just friends.
Due to this, the possible friendship that could happen between a boy and a girl is already strained. And if the friendship has actually taken place, it is taken apart because:
- A) They don’t want rumours floating about them
- B) Parental pressure to ‘stay away’ from that boy or girl.
Sadly, due to this, friendship does not blossom.
Reason Four: Jealousy
It is very common when a friend of yours get into a relationship, they don’t hang out with you like you used to. The case is far worse when that friend of yours is from the opposite gender. Maybe it might be jealousy resulting from dormant feelings you didn’t know until they started dating, or it could possibly be that you aren’t their first priority anymore.
This hurts. And no one wants to be the one on the jealousy side.
Reason Three: Hormones. Hormones. Hormones.
Honestly speaking, there is simply too much hormones between a boy and a girl to be, you know, “just friends”. Nah. That never works. The notion of “just friends” is doomed from the start. Maybe they start out as friends, and become close friends, but someone is bound to slip up some day and then ta-dah! They’re more than just friends.
There is a saying that goes- if a boy and a girl are just friends, it is usually because one of them is really good at keeping their inner feelings as a secret. [Psst- that person is usually in the friend-zone]
Reason Two: Science
Even scientific studies show that male and female can’t be just friends. Guys will tend to overperceive a friendly gesture to be something more. In one case study it was shown that males were more prone to fall for their significant female friends as well as overreading their gestures to be more romantic-like.
While on the other hand, females underperceived their significant male friends’ gestures and flirtations as well as not as much as prone to falling for their male friends to the point that they had completely friendzoned them and understood this ‘platonic friendship’ to be mutual.
Reason One: Feelings
So after being friends for a long time, maybe those dormant feelings of romantic affections erupt. The feeling is mutual and said out loud. Then, both of you decide to pursue a relationship that works in both your favour.
But the thing is, when you get into a relationship, you guys aren’t just friends anymore, are you?
With that, I conclude the ten reasons why a boy and a girl cannot be just friends.