“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” And thus began Jane Austen’s famous novel, Pride and Prejudice.
Marriages have always been of utmost importance to the society, the unbreakable law that everyone must adhere to at some point or the other in their lives. People marry out of love, or if not, their families arrange for someone they can love and get them married. Marriage is much more than just two people living together. It is sharing the responsibility of the household and each other’s families. Like all relationships, marriages have their ups and downs too, which at times become so severe that marriages break. The following list will throw light on some of the reasons why marriages break and also how to fix them-
10. Lack of Communication
Lack of communication often results in troubled marriages. Communication is the foundation stone of any relationship. Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and unwanted arguments. It is human nature to adhere to one’s ego. Ego has no place in a successful marriage.
Solution – Communicate often with your partner. Your spouse is someone you have to spend your entire life with. It is essential that you become best friends before you become partners. Communicate whatever that is there in your mind. Learn the art of communicating in a manner that it resolves conflicts. Communication is the easiest and the healthiest way to resolve issues.
9. Cheating and Infidelity
Infidelity can be defined as the act of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than one’s husband, wife or partner. Infidelity and cheating is one of the major reasons why marriages end in divorce. According to a research, up to 41% of people engage in some form of physical or emotional infidelity.
Solution – People become infidels usually when their needs go neglected or you are not able to spend sufficient quality time with your partner. Make sure you make time for your partner after work. Find ways wherein you can relax together after a long hard day at work, and respect each others’ needs and desires.
8. Boredom in Bed
Good physical intimacy is a very important factor in a successful marriage, something as important as establishing an emotional connection. When relationships begin, sexual energy is usually high and keeps on altering with time. If one or both the partners are bored in bed, if their desires go unaddressed, they’re likely to cheat.
Solution– Communicate your physical needs to your partner. Share what you like and dislike and let them know what you find pleasurable. Keep your partner’s needs and requirements in mind too and make sure you pay heed to them. Your partner is likely to take care of your physical needs when their needs are taken care of.
7. Financial Issues
With the change in pace of life and modernization, the cost of living has escalated to a great extent. For a good enough lifestyle, financial stability is indispensible. Arguments are likely to arise when one partner is unable to fulfill the basic requirements of the family due to financial instability.
Solution – if you’re spouse is the only earning member in the family, offer to contribute or save for yourselves by looking for a job, or work from home options. Plan your expenses and buy good quality, cheaper alternatives of the products that you usually purchase. Little lifestyle changes can help reduce expenses to a great extent.
6. Alcohol and Drugs
According to a study, 45% of the marriages end in divorce owing to substance dependence. Addiction to alcohol drags a variety of other issues along with it, including emotional trauma and physical violence, loss of finances and heated arguments. Substance addiction is enough to destroy any marital relationship.
Solution – It takes a lot of will power and self control to give up substances like alcohol and drugs. Encourage your partner to give up alcohol and drugs and help them to emerge victorious through this decision. Introduce them to healthier lifestyle activities like yoga and meditation to curb their addiction towards alcohol and drugs.
5. Imbalance of Power in Relationships
When one partner in marital relationship assumes the entire power and decision making autonomy, problems may arise. A research suggests that 24% of men felt a lack of autonomy in their relationship and women around 44%. When one person assumes all the power, their significant other is bound to feel unimportant and uncared for, which might lead to them drifting apart.
Solution – Marriages become successful when power distribution between the couple is equal. Make sure to consult your partners before making important life decisions. Chart out viable options and choose the best one out of them by discussing its pros and cons mutually. Make your other half feel important.
No one likes a person who is too complacent. Your partner is bound to get irritated and have second thoughts about you if you constantly complain about little things like things not being at their proper place or general household issues. Marriages tend to suffer due to the complacent nature of people.
Solution – Living with someone calls for certain compromises and adjustments. If you do not like something about your partner or the way they do things, politely ask them to change. Communicate your needs to them. Try and be a little more accepting and forgiving. After all, the person you get constantly irritated with is also someone you chose to spend your life with.
Abuse can be of various kinds and is dangerous enough to destroy your relationship. Physical abuse, mental abuse, substance abuse are some kind of abuses that result a marriage to end in divorce. There can be various reasons for abuse- dowry, jealousy, unnecessary suspicion, financial issues, frustration from work etc.
Solution – Try and assess the cause of abuse, and talk to your partner about it when they are in a sober condition. Communication is an effective tool if carried out properly. Never give in to the unreasonable dowry demands made by your partner or their family. If things go out of hand, seek help from a psychiatrist before considering separation.
2. Social Isolation
When two people get married, they get so involved in each other’s love that they miss out on their social circle. It is only after a few years that they realize the fact that completely neglected their social life while focusing all the attention on their partner. This might create problems later on in the relationship.
Solution – While it is good to be in love with your partner, social isolation and neglecting your social life completely is unhealthy. Become friends with your spouse’s friends and go out on dinners and excursions together. Encourage your partner to meet their friends every now and then. People with a social circle tend to be happier and have healthy relationships.
1. Excessive Jealousy
Being possessive of your partner can be called ‘cute’, but being out rightly and excessively jealous is a totally different thing. Jealousy can result out of various reasons- when one partner is more professionally successful than the other, when a partner has a commendable self-confidence or when one partner has a successful and a happy social life. Whatever be the reason, excessive jealousy ruins relationships.
Solution – Know that the person you have married is not only your partner but also your friend. Be happy on their successes and be there for them in their sorrows. Make friends with their friends and hang out together. Communicate your doubts and fears to your partner so that there is no space for jealousy left!
Maintaining cordial relationships is not rocket science. When problems arise, we tend to break off from the problem rather than try and mend it. It only takes a little effort, a little love and concern and no ego to solve any problems. Be friends with your spouse, before you become partners. A successful relationship is simple- it’s just about two people together, refusing to give up on each other!