Hello, to all the wonderful extroverts out there! If you are having a look at this article, then we assume you are having a hard time figuring out how to handle your introvert friends. Yes, I am talking about those silent ones, who will gladly let you be the center of attention in all situations. A very annoying thing people just happen to assume about introverts is that they do not know how to have fun and need to be fixed or just dragged out of their zone! Everyone has their own ways of having fun and it’s time we stop doubting that.
Do you get annoyed every-time your “in the shell” friend, bails out on your hanging out plans, or when he/she does not easily get along with your other friends and when their silence becomes the toughest thing to decode?
So let’s break down the code, shall we?
Here are some simple ways you can know how to be friends with an introvert and understand their nature:
1. DO NOT INTERRUPT THEM WHEN THEY ARE TALKING
Extroverts may not find it very appealing to organize their thoughts too much. They like to say things as soon as they come to their minds. But things are different for an introvert. They put a lot of thought into their speech so if they are talking, do not interrupt them or try to fill in the silent gaps that seem awkward to you. Those are the moments when your friend is collecting his/her thoughts.
2. DON’T EXPECT RANDOM TEXTS OR CALLS
Another common mistake! You may be all into texting and being on calls all the time but introverts like some silence and alone time. So needless to say, there is no need to feel angry if your friend is not texting you constantly or replying to your messages the very next moment. We do mindlessly accuse introverts of being self-absorbed or not giving others enough importance and nothing can hurt an introvert more! Respect their personal space. Don’t assume their nature to be their lack of interest in you.
3. EASE UP ON THE RANDOM SURPRISES
Introverts enjoy their own company and extroverts need to stop feeling sorry about that or treating it like something that needs to be remedied. They are the happiest when they are having their “me-time”. This is exactly why you must never randomly show up or throw a surprise party especially thinking that you are helping your friend out. That will just make them angrier because special treatment is the last thing most introverts crave for! If you want to make plans then inform them in advance.
4. DON’T FORCE THEM TO TALK
If you ask your intense friend about your most annoying habit then this could be the one! Get this- when someone says that they don’t want to talk, they actually mean it! Pestering your poor friend to spill when they are not ready, is a grave error. It drives them away from you! They will talk when they feel at ease.
5. TALK TO THEM ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
Introverts are fond of deep and engaging conversations. They like to talk more about stuff that is meaningful to them. So if you have been feeling a slight disconnect with your introvert friend, then take an initiative and talk to them instead of waiting for them to approach you. Try to cut down on the random talk and discuss more relevant stuff. This does not mean that you forget to be yourself! The point is that you mustn’t get carried away in your own talk and forget about them!
6. WHEN HANGING OUT WITH AN INTROVERT, TRY TO KEEP A SMALL GROUP
Introverts like people but they tend to get uncomfortable in large crowds. This should not be too hard to understand! It’s pretty natural to feel a little withdrawn when surrounded with people you don’t know well enough. So don’t even bother pushing them to feel the way you are feeling around people. If they agree to hang out with you, try not to get a third person along and ruin it for them!
7. DON’T MAKE FUN OF THEIR NATURE
OK so first you invite a dozen of people and force your introvert friend to join, then you get carried away and start calling attention on him/her and then you proceed to make fun of the way they don’t talk. By following these steps, you will unfriend any introvert in no time! Most of the times, this kind of humorous attention makes them uncomfortable rather than a part of the group.
8. DON’T ASK THEM TO EXPLAIN THEIR INTROVERSION
Why would you do that anyways? It is like a rule! Don’t ask them why they don’t like to talk as much or why they are social with all your friends and why they don’t just say “yes!” instantly to all parties. They do not owe you an explanation for being who they are.
9. TELL THEM WHY YOU LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH THEM
It’s not that introverts do not like to express feelings. They just don’t like to rush into it. Most often, extroverts pour all their feelings out to their introvert friend because introverts are great listeners. But they often forget to remind their shy friends that they are special. So do that! Tell your friend what you like about him/her.
10. DON’T BE TOO CAREFUL AROUND THEM
Introverts are less talkative by nature but they are not fragile babies who cannot handle social gatherings. So if you are at a party with one such friend, don’t cling on to them because you feel they will not be able to mingle with others. Introverts can make conversations too, you know! Let them be their own person and quit making forced introductions, won’t you?
On behalf of all introverts, you’re welcome! Oh, and please stop believing that alcohol can magically turn them into extroverts!