Can you ever make a monkey believe that strawberries are sweeter than bananas? (Though I personally have never encountered strawberries sweeter than bananas, but that is how the saying goes). No you can’t, so how do you convince your partner that your relationship is dwelling in toxicity and that is well, fatal? Or how do you ever discover if the relationship is toxic? First things first, toxic relationships are of poisonous words and venomous actions. Forgive the exaggeration but they are sure to make you feel lost and never into the relationship to cherish it. Just in it to make it work. And well why do the relationships get toxic? When you either love too much or too less, there is little else that can happen to your relationship and so it gets toxic. Here are 12 dangerous signs that you are in a toxic relationship. Recognize and revise, like seriously, what’s about being with a partner who is not even a partner anymore.
12. You are mine. No questions asked.
A certain level of rights on one another might be the secret to a perfect relationship but claiming someone as your own altogether? And well, by claiming I certainly don’t mean in the mush mush talking affairs but more in a sense of action. Is it right to give up on your individuality for a person who would never care of giving you your own space? If you feel it is, go ahead. But then trust me this relationship would suffocate more than make you live.
11. Excessively emotionally interdependent.
Emotional dependence is necessary for sustenance of human life but to the extent of being broken in the others absence can get toxic nevertheless. If your relationship has you constantly seeking attention for emotional support, you’ve fallen weak to the level of crumbling down when it’s over and if this is not fatal, tell me what is?
10. Constant scare of World War 3
Are people around you being super careful so as to not trigger sensitivities and raise a platform for the world war 3 to happen? Let’s simplify that, have you been arguing more than you’ve been at peace, in public view or away from it? Is it that everyone around you is seeing that your relationship has ego clashes and arguments except that you seek to term it as the ideal love hate relationship? Look at it again, go through the events, is it love that makes you take constant digs at your lover, is it love that triggers unending arguments? I doubt.
9. Space for the 3rd.
Has a third person been recently involved in advising you through what you thought was personal. Is it that either of you have your defendants who’d do your part of the speaking and convincing to the other? You know what, you are solving the differences, just creating them. And it is high time you realize that when a relationship is working, there is no space for a third person to gain importance. Your weaknesses and your strengths remain you and within you, not like a secret confided in the important third.
8. No end to being pulled down
Is it that every public gathering ever has the two of you having a cold war by the time you leave. Reason? Well, just that the same person who once admired every action of yours has now started pulling you down for each one of them. It is like if a third person appreciates you, they take offence and start highlighting how you’ve been wrong all along. When were relationships made to pull the other down, didn’t we all have enemies enough?
7. Suspicions on the rise: Cheat affairs
If your relationship is at a point where there’s a space for rising suspicion of a romantic outside of yours, trust me, your relationship has lost the trust factor there was. And once the suspicion arises, no matter how much you try to make it subside, it will remain and will hamper your relationship to no extent. If that is how your partner must believe, maybe the time is now to realize that how this relationship is giving you no benefit of doubt. You’d be the convict, no matter what.
6. It’s your sibling? I don’t care, I’m still jealous,
When there’s a constant nagging of who you talk to, and who you avoid entirely. When every conversation you make with any person whatsoever gives rise to a constant jealousy, the relationship has nothing right about it. Quite seriously. And well, when whoever you talk to is portrayed in negative light, no pardoning to your siblings or parents, you know that the relationship now is obsessive in a harming manner. And would you really be in a relationship as toxic as this?
5. I love you but I don’t: Extreme mood swings
When the person is loving one moment, and pushing you away the other. How do you decide whether the relationship is working or it isn’t? Well, if there are constant mood swings (yes, more than the six month pregnant sister has) it is time for reality check. A relationship is not meant to deal with mood swings without a reason. Harsh times are sure meant to be dealt together, but what when there is no explanation?
4. To control time, money and speech.
Something that starts happening at some point of time in most relationships is controlling the other’s time, finances and even speech. Are you encouraging this behaviour? Seriously? Even the law permits you to see your own acquaintances, manage your own finances and speak your own words. Why then are you becoming a commodity instead of an individual. There is something in your relationship that needs to be changed, and maybe it is just your relationship status.
3. Constant emotional drainage
When a relationship stops giving you any happiness, I won’t really say go off the relationship, but atleast try to figure out where it went wrong. You are in a toxic relationship if you’ve constantly been feeling emotionally drained. That feeling of no matter what you give into this, there is no reciprocation. If that is happening, weigh if the relationship is worth it. Set it right, or set your foot forward and let it go.
2. Nothing gained, all lost: Loss of self
The worst thing to happen to any relationship is when it is not about two people, but one. A loss of individuality or of self has to get fatal sooner or later. You might have devoted yourself to it, but was not the relationship about you as you were. You cannot expect things to go right when you’ve changed as such. What is unchangeable is that you are an entity, and that identity you need to retain. If you’ve lost everything you had to the relationship, I’m sorry, but you getting no rewards for it.
1. The Love you had is lost
Often many times, it is not about either of you being a constant obstacle to the relationship, just the fact that both of you don’t feel now like you once did. And trust me, there is nothing wrong about it. Often feelings grow out of us, often we grow out of feelings and when love grows out of us there is nothing that keeps us together. When there is no love in the relationship, there is nothing about the relationship that you should hold onto, and if you don’t let it go, you must really be fond of a toxic relationship. Your choice.