Yes, as a kid I wanted that place of my own with no one to tell me what to do. To think of it now, I’d rather live with a million than no one at all. I am not having mood swings, I am just being real ! You may be ecstatic to be by yourself, but well, living alone can spell stress. We, as humans, love to see the greener grass as the other side, but honey, would you feed on the grass when you have no one to sit around with and have the conversation of your lifetime? Try living alone and you’d be a people’s person all so suddenly. Here’s why living alone is nowhere close to paradise.
9. Laundry? Yes Please, just a pair of clothes
You’d never have enough laundry to save your white t shirt from the red one that bleeds colour. What happens? You get two faded red t shirts and a lot of other clothes which look colour spilled. Who cares, you’ve to live alone right? Worse still is that you never have full load for the washing machine and you pay as much as the lady next door does who has 4 times more clothes than you just because one cloth or ten, the washing machine works all the same. And well, believe me you guys, over time you’d get that lazy that you’d probably have clothes lying around from last year with insects breeding (Yes, in those smelly socks) but you just would not take them to the laundry. First world problems? No. Living alone problems!
8. You pay for it: No Splitting Bills
You may be living alone in a studio or a five storey mansion, the crux of it is, you would always be over budget. You pay all the bills for amenities which would have been enough for two, perhaps 3. Well, the electricity bill does not see how many people was it serving, does it? So at the end of the day you pay your house bills, water bills, electricity bills, grocery bills, pharmacy bills and then you have absolutely no currency bills on you. Wouldn’t that sound better if we could split the bills between two? Well, I could probably afford a Chanel Boy Bag with all the money saved. Just saying!
7. Live off junk : Meals are never a priority
You may have been an absolute foodie but to cook for no one but you can be tedious and 8 times out of 10 you’d sleep having ate from Subway. And If you do decide to cook for yourself, there’d never be the right portion for you because heaven knows how do you even make that little food. Also, veggies would be aliens because there’d be no one to help do the chopping. You’d never have options for dinner to choose from. There’d be one dish and its leftovers which you’d consume through the week till you see fungi growing on it. Tacky? Yes! The subway trick works way better.
6. Saturday Night? No real plans
What are you doing for Saturday night? Oh well! That’s going to be exciting, You’re watching Tom and Jerry with a Tub of Cookies and Cream Ben and Jerry! Stop looking at me in defence, you may be watching Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives or The Mentalist. The truth is you have no real plans. You’d hardly go out clubbing because you cannot drink and drive, your friends would all have plans with family or partners and you? Well, you’d be crushing over Edward Cullen. And maybe you’d have a Pizza party so that you have leftover meal for the rest of the week!
5. Over shopping: Grocery is always too much
I can never go to a supermarket and walk around the aisle without needing everything ever. The point now is, that the supermarket would not let me purchase one from the apples, half a loaf bread and precisely 3 croissants. Just about every packing there is too much and my refrigerator has been full for over a year with rotten fruits just because I cannot consume them all. Identify with that? That is one reason why living alone is more binding than liberating. You cannot even decide what you want to have for breakfast without having it for lunch and even dinner, or simply letting it go waste.
4. Fight the Nightmare : Always on Alert
Now, for all my deep sleepers out there, be prepared for so many sleepless nights. If you’re alone, no matter how securely you’ve locked the door and how brave you are, you’d always be on alert. You’d have nightmares of attackers and mice running around may look like alien machines spying on you. Everything from a wafers wrapper to your air conditioners’ sound will become creepy and the slightest hint of light would have you at your feet. Imagine sleeping armed with knives and pans, Not my idea of an ideal life.
3. Laughter! I sound creepy when I laugh
You’d have no one to share your jokes with is one thing, but to laugh at even the most slapstick comedy would be nothing short of awkward. In fact, if you’re living alone and you just happen to laugh out loud during one of those movies that you wouldn’t have it otherwise, there’d be neighbours coming to check if you’re doing fine. They might just assume that you have guests over too. Laughing would then be almost limited to social gatherings and even then you’d feel like you’re being awkward and pass it off as a smile. What is a life without people to laugh with at clumsy errors? It is life of being alone
2. Crisis Management: You do it yourself
There’d be no one to help in a fire or flood. You may be dying sick but no one would know. You’d have to be all by yourself, no questions asked. You may be PMS-ing and you’d be cranky for people to be around, or just give you that alone space without letting you be lonely, but well, you’d have to deal with that end of the world by yourself. No one who’d take care of you, who’d help you out of any crisis, who’d take care of the bills being paid in time. You’d come back to the same old messy place day in and day out without anyone helping you clean up. In fact, if you disappear suddenly, they’d take quite some time to even figure out that you’re missing and not lazing around at home.
1. The undying Loneliness : No one to look forward to
Believe it or not, you may have a billion friends, but the connection you share with those you live with is beyond comparison. You may have a hundred points against your roommate, but if your friend tries to mess with them, god help the friend. It is lonely to be by your own. To have no one to look forward to waiting at home, or you waiting for them to get home. No one to tell how your day was, how you want to pull out every strand of hair from your bald boss’s head. You’d have no one to cry to about that break up, or perhaps no one to break up with and then patch up over chocolate. Home would be the prison you return to for spending the night. Is that your idea of a happy life? To me it sounds like a living hell of misery.