“I know, you love him more !” says little Annie to her mother.
Sibling fights are the most common issue and the most silliest fights in a family. It may be the girl or the boy, who is elder, fighting with younger sibling over a piece of cake or a bicycle ride. Some fight for the sake of things not being distributed equally or some due to more pamper to the other. It may not be serious issue in some families, but in some, they create havoc at home. Parents often get irritated by fights over such small things, as the siblings fight, they do love each other equally.
Fights between siblings can lead them apart. Parents love their children equally, but brother and sisters are far from this fact. Although pampering given to first child is higher than his/her siblings, parents do not differentiate between any of their offspring. Siblings with higher gap tends to pamper the younger one over fighting. However, rivalry is bigger between siblings of lower gap in age. Your children fight, but there is something to be concerned if they fight too often. I remember the time when my sister didn’t talk to my younger brother for about 4 months before their conflict was settled by my father.
Siblings seek equality in every part of their life. May it be, food, care, enjoyment or freedom. It is in the nature of children, innocence, that makes them to demand. For parents, all are equal. But, parents, better be careful about what your children care and are stressed about. Although, siblings fights are inevitable, parents can solve the misunderstanding children keep in their heart and can reduce the after-fight silence.
Here are the top 10 reasons why brothers and sisters fight.
10. Equal Love and Care
Siblings seek equal attention, love and care from their parents. Parents in spite of being impartial to their children, hear comments about being partial. Why? Because they love their children. They are mature enough to understand the situation and react accordingly. Children are children, immature. Children see their parents pampering their younger one with more care and they develop such feeling that they are loved, but lesser. Parents had and will have equal love and care for each one of their children. And it is to you dear brother or sister, when you’ll have child, you’ll understand what it is to love your offspring.
What do you think of yourself? Why do I need to explain it to you? Siblings often think why am I asked all these questions. Why don’t mom or dad ask all these him/her? Children often get these questions in mind while growing up with their siblings. Children need to understand this : When your sibling was asked all those questions that you are facing, you were not on this Earth to watch. As children get older, they mature and understand why are the questions being asked. Also, girls get irritated due to this questioning session. So stay calm, you are not the only one being questioned. Your parents care about you equally as they do it for your sibling.
8. Age gap
Lower age gap in siblings is a major reason of fights. Higher the age gap, higher is the mutual bonding and pampering. Elder sibling, be it a boy or girl, is more caring and understanding towards the younger one. He understand that there may be many reasons why his sibling is reacting too much or is angry over small thing. He becomes second mother for the younger sibling. I remember one of my friend has a 6 year old brother while she is 16. Low age gap siblings treat his brother or sister equal in every sense and try to overcome the other. It doesn’t mean there should be huge gaps between children, but there should be enough so that one is mature enough to understand the other.
7. Personality Traits
Some people are filled of egoism and are very easily irritated. And moreover, siblings with such traits fight more. When any one of the two is calm and quiet, fight doesn’t last long. Rivalry becomes physical when both are equal in age and in personality-strength. Such siblings should find some common interests and get indulged in them. It not only makes their love stronger but also makes them creative at hand. Helping each other in small chores strengthen their bond. Whatever may be the personality, no one betrays sibling love, especially when one know that he was at fault and realises it. Feel sorry if it was you, and forgive the other. It is nature.
6. Birth Order
Younger children are bent towards rivalry. They cry off and scream even over a small piece of cake. The order in birth is important when we consider fights between siblings. Elder brother fights with younger sisters or brothers over maintaining discipline and disturbing their stable life or even messing things up. While elder sisters shout at her younger siblings over cleanliness or due to dominating nature. Whatever be the reason of fight, siblings fights results in seriously hurt relationships if mishandled.
5. Closeness to one parent
“I am my dad’s girl !”, said Sneh to her friends. Girls are always close to dad and sons are to mom. It usually results in fight between children complaining parent of taking sides. Although its natural bond between dad-daughter and son-mom, fights persists. Parents although treat children equally, it is in children due to their nature, they blame parents.
4. Sharing of Secrets
Sharing of secrets among children and youngsters is very common. Children are more comfortable telling truth to their sibling or friend than to their parent. Whenever a fight starts, they warn of revealing the secrets. It seems funny when one watches them fight over such things, but it is parents who can get close to their children to know them. Do not create distance between your child and you. You are his parent, you know him better than anyone else.
Dominating nature of the elder sibling is one of the root cause of fights between children. Elder always think it is his responsibility to shelter the younger one while the younger think he is being dominated. Younger sisters usually fight with elder brothers, who tries to be over-protective in whatever she does. Resulting in irritation and fights between them, younger girls stays away from elder brothers. Although there are still cases, as already said due to age gap, there are elder brothers who mean more than just brothers to young sister, brothers protection create problem when it overdosed.
Children are possessive about everything they or their family own. It reminds me of my time, when i used to pick up my toys and run away when other tries to capture them. Siblings too are possessive, not only about toys and other things, but also of each other. While growing up, one usually fights over belongings that your sibling wanted to own. Even if you both have equal number of toys, you were who always wanted an extra one 🙂 Siblings cry and scream just because other one took away the toy from his hand, and Parents, end up in settling them.
Young Siblings, who usually live separate due to family reasons or behavior, usually fight their siblings over small thing you can ever imagine. The bond gets weaker when they are separate. Along with separation, the common interests and hobbies fades away. They treat each other as strangers even living under the same shed. Siblings should live together and share life.
Living life together is the best part siblings have. They grow up together seeing each other change through the years. Even though they fight, they love each other equally. Sibling fights is an ebb, what you can do is to forgive, and carry on. After all, they have the same blood.